So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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