The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
