Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
