Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
