I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
birth control should be required to get into college
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
