Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
