so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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