If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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