dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
