he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
