Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
