wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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