i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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