Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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