Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
