Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
