I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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