the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
