I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
