he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
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