it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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