Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
