Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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