He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
