I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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