did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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