I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
