So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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