The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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