I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
