Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
