so explain again why im purple
no
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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