I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Found your dick twin last night
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
