Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
