idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
