I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
