I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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