I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
