are you so shy because you have an std?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
