I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
This is the high leading the old right now
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
