Where are you?
In a non slutty way
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
