He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
