He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
