i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
