Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
