He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
