My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
