he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
