Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
