Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
