Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
