no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
