I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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